Mother’s Day Without A Mother

Today is strange for me. Naturally, as a mother myself, my children wanted to be nice. My daughter helped my dad make me breakfast in bed and she made me cards and pictures. She made me something at school and gave it to me. She was very excited to be nice to me. My boyfriend came and brought me roses and made me dinner. My sister came with a card and a flower for my desk at work, and some ice cream. Everyone was very kind to me. And still, I felt less than whole all day. Not really an overwhelming sadness, but just this feeling of being incomplete. 

Mother’s Day for me has always been about my mother. If I was around, I made her breakfast. I bought the snappiest card, flowers, the works. I always put together a sentimental gift. One year, mini photo albums of each of her three daughters. Another year, a framed photo of me as a baby, a current adult photo, and our poem “I carry your heart” by Cummings. My gifts always made her cry. In a good way of course. 

I saw someone say “remember not everyone’s mother is alive on Mother’s Day so watch what you say to people.” That made me sort of sad. No, my mother isn’t alive. But that doesn’t mean others should stop celebrating. It makes me happy to hear what others are doing for their mothers today. It makes me happy to hear what children, husbands, boyfriends, etc. are doing to celebrate the women in their life. That’s a beautiful thing. Please, don’t let me get in the way of you being proud of that. Please, don’t feel like you have to spare me by tip-toeing around me. 

Take advise from someone who misses their mother so very deeply and celebrate her hard. Now I realize not everyone has a relationship with their mother. For you, I am so sorry. It is unfortunate and sad and I know your pain in a way I can’t explain. But for those who do and can, tell her you love her as many times as you can spare. Make time to hug her hard. Make time to cherish her. It is the natural way of life, that she will go before you.

So do it now before all you can do is miss her.
Happy Mother’s Day to every mother, every stepmother, every aunt, grandmother, every adoptive mother, foster mother, big sister, and the like. Thank you for all the love you bring into this world.

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